Category Archives: Global Stuff
Terrorist Group Severs Ties with Nissan
FRANKLIN, TN—For the past 17 years, Nissan Motors has had the distinction of being the official car maker of the world’s most dangerous terrorist organization. But, a pair of failed car bombings has forced Al-Laddin to end their partnership with the Japanese automobile company. Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy
The Burning Question
Could you be friends with an alien?
Renowned Astroturfphysicist Stephen Hawking doesn’t think it’s a good idea. In fact, Hawking believes that you should steer clear of any extraterrestrials, even if they were to offer you eternal life—or even a piece of candy—just to come aboard their ship.
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Filed under Global Stuff, Survey
Goldman Sachs’ CEO Reports to Congress to be Kicked in the Nuts
Lloyd Blankfein showed up early this morning in Washington wearing a well-pressed suite and a new tie. Congress had ordered Blankfein to appear before them to be repeatedly kicked in the nuts until they are satisfied that he is sorry for the pain and misery his company has cause this country. Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy, Local News, National News
Green Liberals Protest Volcano
ICELAND- The members of the Center for Reasonable and Appreciated Politics traveled to Iceland last week to protest the active volcano which began erupting on April 15. “Of all the weeks for Earth to pull this shit,” said Steven Hills, … Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff
Hey, Is That A Hummer?
The Nickelback! Could you turn it doooowwn? Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff
Where is Sean Penn?
Penn was then devoured by the Haitians who left nothing but the cleaned skeleton of a truly incredible individual. His sacrifice was a great thing and will be apreciated by all that watch the morning news on Monday. Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff
St.Patrick’s Day Mystery
You may be wondering why you don’t see the little people on St. Patrick’s Day. And it seems that there are fewer and fewer wee people around on that day with each passing year. Well, if you listen closely on St. Patrick’s Day eve, you’ll hear the pitter patter of little feet as the little folk scamper for their very lives to safety.
Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy, National News
Food Ingredients
“What came out of me was nothing I had ever experienced. It wasn’t a solid, it wasn’t a liquid, and it certainly wasn’t a gas. I—I think I shit plasma.”
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Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy
Teabagging Gone Wild
“I had no idea what those cops were talking about. I thought I was doing my civic duty,” said Chris Lemont Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy, Local News
