Could you be friends with an alien?
Renowned Astroturfphysicist Stephen Hawking doesn’t think it’s a good idea. In fact, Hawking believes that you should steer clear of any extraterrestrials, even if they were to offer you eternal life—or even a piece of candy—just to come aboard their ship.
Hawking had these women strip-searched just to make sure they weren't packing any extraterrestrials.
Speaking at the premiere party for his Discovery Channel documentary series, the British scientist suggested that the human race could be destroyed by interacting with alien lifeforms.
“If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Injuns,” Hawking said via his Speak & Spell. “Such advanced aliens would want to conquer our planet—first, they fornicate and then they eradicate.”
Of course this is just one man’s opinion. Sure, this one man happens be a scientific genius, but he’s not perfect. In 1992, Hawking wrongly predicted that Crystal Pepsi would overtake Tang as NASA’s drink of choice. And who could forget last year, when Hawking was found guilty of trademark infringement for stealing the title of his “Up in the Black Hole” college lecture tour from the Ebony Humpers porn franchise.
Still, we’re curious to know how many humans would befriend a creature from outer space. Here’s what four random people had to say.
Mike Shuler, 43, single father
“Hell no! We’ve got way too many illegal aliens running across our borders as it is. At least the Mexicans are willing to wash our cars and mow our lawns for dirt cheap. It sounds like these other fellas are going to drive a hard bargain.”
Samantha Newark, 21, majoring in Canadian Studies
“I consider myself pretty open-minded, but I don’t think I could be friends with an alien…maybe Facebook friends. I may also give it my number if I saw one out at a bar. I wouldn’t want to be mean to its face…probably wouldn’t call it back, though.”
Maurice Johnson, 62, Sagittarius
“I guess so. I feel sorry for them. I mean, think about it: How barren must their planet be if they’re coming to this shitbox? Maybe smog and pollution are hot commodities in their galaxy.”
“Sure, as long as us natives are given casinos if and when they decide to steal our land.”
