Monthly Archives: February 2010
Men Not Getting Any Affirmative Action
PORTLAND, OR—Like the explorers named for their college, male students at Lewis & Clark College are on a voyage of their own: to find out what happened to all the dudes.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that this place is overflowing with primo poon, but I wouldn’t mind seeing more bros,” said Brent Smilac, a senior from nearby Edilgortsa, OR. “Where my dogs at? Rruuuuff!”
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Filed under High Comedy, Local News, National News
City Adds New Gun Laws and Gun Programs
The program is titled, “Bullets for Guns,” and is executed exactly how it sounds: Gun-owners, no matter how they have acquired them, can hand over their guns in exchange for a hand full of bullets.
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Filed under National News
Worst Action Movies of All Time
We put up a good fight for many years, but you win. We can no longer defend these movies just as we can longer defend farting while under the covers because we “have to.” We’ll try harder from now on. Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy, top ten lists
Sex Machine Confessionals
Hey baby, listen: We have to get some things straight here; I’m not a human. I’m a machine. A sex machine, and I don’t have the ears a human male can provide. I can’t put my arms around you and tell you everything is going to be alright. Continue reading
Filed under Editorial, High Comedy
What Women Want
scientists may have discovered what it is that women actually want from men. And the century old nightmare of incessant yammering and screeching just might be over. Continue reading
Filed under Global Stuff, High Comedy, National News
Satan Reneges Deal With Larry The Cable Guy
It comes as no surprise to anyone with a sense of humor that Larry the Cable Guy’s success and fame has stemmed from making a deal with Lucifer, but an interesting development has surfaced regarding the pact the two have made: Satan … Continue reading
Filed under Dead Celebrity Gossip
Sex Sells, But Nobody’s Buying
As the economy continues to sag, many perverts are being forced to diversify their pornfolios in order to have any chance at a happy ending. Continue reading
Filed under High Comedy, Local News
Thursday’s Stat Sheet!
As we all feel the grip of economic turmoil, Vondrook conducted a highly scientific survey to ask the question,
Filed under Statistics
Top-Ten Listatorium
10 worst things said by pediatricians Continue reading
Filed under top ten lists
Merck & Co. Release New Flintstone Shaped Vicodin
The pharmaceutical giant, Merck & Co., has just released a fun new shape of Vicodin in the form of your favorite “Flintstones” characters. “It’s an exciting day,” said Merck spokesman, Jonathan Sanders, “We are the second largest pharmaceutical manufacturer on … Continue reading
Filed under National News
